


The Idiots’ Guide to Love

by thesaddestboner



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Bromance, Gen, Idiot manchildren, M/M, Not Beta Read, Subtext, Video & Computer Games, Washington Capitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 20:44:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesaddestboner/pseuds/thesaddestboner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Brooks was sprawled over Mike’s couch, a stray Cheetoh resting on his chest.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Idiots’ Guide to Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is old and was supposed to be much longer, but it kind of feels fairly self-contained.
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/thesaddestboner) and [tumblr](http://saddestboner.tumblr.com).

Brooks was sprawled over Mike’s couch, a stray Cheetoh resting on his chest. Orange crumbs clung to the corner of his mouth stubbornly; Brooks kept trying (and failing) to lick them away.

Tonight was a Guys’ Night In kind of night. Ovie had invited them both out to a bar-- a karaoke bar, Mike thought, shuddering in revulsion-- but Mike had turned him down graciously. He wasn’t finding the idea of Ovie and alcohol appealing, for some reason. 

They’d settled on MLB2K8 for the night, after a cutthroat round of rock-paper-scissors-fire (despite Brooks’ protests, Mike insisted fire always trumped everything and he always won because Brooks gave up too easily). Mike had chosen the Washington Nationals and Brooks, as per usual, was the Toronto Blue Jays. He was winning, of course. Mike was beginning to think Brooks just let him win, but he wasn’t about to start complaining.

“Dude, you _suck_ at this game,” Mike laughed, looking away from Brooks and back at the TV screen. He jammed at a couple of buttons on his controller and Ryan Zimmerman clubbed a three-run homerun off Roy Halladay.

“Shut up, Mike.” Brooks swatted at the back of his head and the Cheetoh went flying across the room.

“Ooh, five second rule!” Mike dove off his beanbag chair for the Cheetoh and popped it into his mouth, flashing a grin at Brooks, knowing Brooks would be disgusted.

Brooks waved a hand dismissively at him and grimaced. “Ew, man. That’s fucking gross.”

Mike grinned triumphantly and flopped back in his beanbag. He put his socked feet up on the coffee table. and flexed his arm at Brooks “I know, ’s why I did it.”

Brooks brushed at the Cheetoh crumbs on the front of his ‘Save a tree. Eat a beaver’ t-shirt. “Whatever, you savage. Learn some manners. And get your feet off the coffee table.” Brooks kicked Mike’s feet off the coffee table. Halladay served up another homerun to Mike’s Nationals and Brooks chucked his controller in protest.

“Someone’s a sore loser today,” Mike chided.

“You’re fucking _cheating_ ,” Brooks said.

“It’s a video game, Brooks. How could I be cheating?” Mike asked.

“I dunno, maybe you got some codes or something,” Brooks said, scowling.

“I don’t cheat. I don’t have to.” Mike grinned.

Brooks tossed a Cheetoh at Mike’s head. “Way to be a sore winner, man. I quit.” Brooks got up and padded into the kitchen to the fridge. “You wanna ’nother beer, man?”

“Nah,” Mike called out, “I’m all set.”

Brooks turned back to the fridge and grabbed a fresh Corona. “You better not be cheating,” he said, pulling a bottle opener out of the silverware drawer.

“Of course I’m not cheating.”

Brooks hip-checked the fridge door shut and headed back to the living room. “Every time you open your mouth, lies come out.”

“Every time I open my mouth-- no, I’ll stop while I’m ahead.” Mike grinned up at Brooks.

“Ew, Mike. Keep it to yourself.” Brooks settled back on the couch and opened his beer. “I don’t need to hear about all the gay sex you’re having.”

“You mean, you don’t need to hear about all the gay sex I’m not having with _you_.” Mike abandoned the video game to flop next to Brooks on the oft-abused couch. “Somebody’s a little jealous, methinks.”

“Dude, I’m not gay for you and I never will be.” Brooks rolled his eyes and took a long pull of his Corona. “Give up the dream, Mike.”

Mike slugged Brooks in the chest with a balled up fist, unable to hide a smirk. “How can _I_ be gay for you? I don’t even like you!”

Brooks threw up an arm to deflect Mike’s blows harmlessly. “Oh, bitch, please. You like me. Else you wouldn’t be letting me crash your pad.”

“Nobody says that anymore, Brooks,” Mike said, trying to force Brooks’ arms down, to no avail. When Brooks refused to give in, Mike swatted him in the chest a second time.

Brooks set his beer aside and turned, grabbing onto Mike’s wrists. “Quit it, Mike. It’s really fucking annoying.”

“If you really wanted me to quit you’d have done something about it by now,” Mike taunted, trying to pull his wrists free.

“I’m just such a _nice_ guy,” Brooks said, tightening his grip and flashing Mike a cocky smirk.

Mike smirked back, letting his arms go slack, giving up the fight. “You gonna let go of me anytime soon, Mr. Not Gay For Mike Green?”

Brooks scowled deeply, forehead creasing, and let go of Mike’s wrists. “You’re such a _dick_.”

Mike laughed and sat back, rubbing at his wrists. “But you love me, so _nyah_.” Mike stuck his tongue out at Brooks, who whacked him lightly in the chest.

“You’re such a child, Mike.” Brooks picked up the remote and the TV Guide and flipped the TV on.

“Does that make you a pedo then?”

Brooks swatted Mike with the rolled up TV Guide. “Don’t even start on that again. I’ll end you.” He turned his attention back to the TV. “Hey, _Flavor of Love_ is on.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Brooksie.” Mike sat back, kicked his feet up onto the coffee table, and put his head on Brooks’ shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> The author of this piece intends no insult, slander, or copyright infringement, and is not profiting from this work. This story is a complete work of fiction and does not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. This is for entertainment purposes only. If you found this story while Googling your name or the names of your friends, hit the back button now.


End file.
